May 17, 2008

Overheard at The Potato Shack, Encinitas, CA

Mike @ 11:30 pm   |  Comments (1)
Filed under: Short Conversations

Lady: [to friend] Are you going chanting tonight?

Friend: I don’t know.

Lady: If you want, we can just do it by ourselves.

May 16, 2008

Overheard on the 7 Train: Humbert Humbert Edition

Allen @ 8:26 am   |  Comments (1)
Filed under: Lust,Short Conversations

Bald, Creepy Dude: [to mature-looking girl] Are you in school?

Mature-Looking Girl: I’m a senior.

Bald, Creepy Dude: [sliding closer to mature-looking girl] Oh that’s great, what’s your major?

Mature-Looking Girl: Uh, I don’t have a major.  I mean, not yet.  Maybe in a couple years I’ll have one.

Bald, Creepy Man: [stops sliding closer] You’re in high school?

Mature-Looking Girl: Yeah, I’m a senior.  In high school.

Bald, Creepy Man: … you’re, like, seventeen?

Mature-Looking Girl: Yeah.

Bald, Creepy Man: [rubs his soul patch] Hm… seventeen.

May 9, 2008

Overheard at Yoshinoya

Allen @ 7:50 am   |  Comments Off on Overheard at Yoshinoya
Filed under: Food,Short Conversations

Cashier Woman: [to me] Your change is $1.42… oh no, I’m out of singles.  Hold on one sec, please.  [yells towards the back] Yo, Manny, where’s my singles at?!

Manager Man: [yells back] Chill out, you ain’t a stripper, baby!

April 22, 2008

Overheard in a Boston Coffeehouse, 10AM

Allen @ 12:14 pm   |  Comments Off on Overheard in a Boston Coffeehouse, 10AM
Filed under: boston sucks,Short Conversations

Man #1: Have you ever heard of the term… [whispers] ‘butt pirate’?

Man #2: [loudly] Huh?  Butt wha’?  PIRATE?

Man #1: [whispers] Yeah.  Butt pirate.

Man #2:  Whaddaya mean, like Blackbeyahd ah somethin’?

Man #1: Yeah, like that.

Man #2: Nevah heahd of it.

Man #1: [excitedly] That’s what we are!

Overheard at Fenway Park

Mike @ 7:50 am   |  Comments (5)
Filed under: boston sucks,Short Conversations


Chowder Girl: Getcha chowda! Chowda heah! Getcha chowda!

Man with blocked view [in low growl]: Get that soup outta heah.

April 19, 2008

Overheard at Karaoke Night

Allen @ 1:45 pm   |  Comments Off on Overheard at Karaoke Night
Filed under: Music,Short Conversations

Girl #1: [finishing up a rousing rendition of “Hollaback Girl”] I don’t even know what a hollaback girl is!

Girl #2: Yeah, me neither.


Guy: It’s a whore.


April 18, 2008

The Measure of a Man’s Two Weeks

Allen @ 7:35 am   |  Comments Off on The Measure of a Man’s Two Weeks
Filed under: Short Conversations,Travel

photo: 7 pounds of dirty laundry, chillin’ in JFK Terminal 6.

Jetblue Check-in Woman: Sir, your bag is overweight.  It’ll be $20 extra, or you can take out 5 pounds of stuff.

Me: What’s 5 pounds of stuff, usually?

Jetblue Check-in Woman: Two pairs of shoes.

[I open up my bag and rummage.]

Me: How about two weeks’ worth of dirty laundry?

Jetblue Check-in Woman: [checks scale] 7 pounds.  That works.

April 10, 2008

Overheard at a Bar in Hell’s Kitchen: The “What Women Want” Edition

Allen @ 11:26 am   |  Comments (4)
Filed under: Short Conversations

Woman: (to Boyfriend) You never want to go salsa dancing with me!

Boyfriend: (to Woman) I hate salsa dancing.

Woman: Is it too much to ask for a boyfriend who likes to go salsa dancing?

Me: I like salsa dancing.

Woman: What, are you gay?

March 31, 2008

Overheard at a Red Sox-Dodgers Game

Allen @ 7:46 am   |  Comments Off on Overheard at a Red Sox-Dodgers Game
Filed under: boston sucks,Short Conversations

I went to the Red Sox vs. Dodgers exhibition game this weekend at the Coliseum.  It was the largest baseball game in history, with 115,300 attendees.  This was my view from the very last row at the top edge of the stadium:


At the top of the 7th, it was 7-1 Red Sox, and a man wearing a Sox cap and t-shirt pulled down one of the many Dodger flags flying on flag poles around the top edge of the Coliseum.  This started something of a mini-riot, as everyone else wanted one too.  Pretty soon, nearly all the flags were gone, and the police were running up the stairs.

Crowd: (pointing at the Red Sox cap guy) He did it!  He did it!

Tattooed Guy Sitting Next to Me: Man, everyone’s a snitch.

Policeman #1: (to the Red Sox cap guy) OK, let’s go.

Red Sox cap guy: What?  What I do?

Policeman #2: (reaching into Red Sox cap guy’s back pocket, pulls out the Dodger flag) Really, you’re gonna lie to us?  Get up, let’s go.

[Red Sox cap guy gets up and gets escorted out.  The crowd cheers, then quiets down.]

Dodgers Fan with Goatee: (to the Red Sox cap guy, as he is led away) Yeah!  Boston sucks!  Hahaha!

Red Sox cap guy: Yankees suck!  Yankees suck! 

March 25, 2008

Overheard at a Hipster Wedding

Allen @ 6:37 am   |  Comments (2)
Filed under: Short Conversations

Hipster #1: Hey, nice sunglasses.  Ray Bans?

Hipster #2: … 1943 vintage Ray Ban Aviators, actually.

Me: It looks like your suspenders are jerry-rigged to go down to your socks.

Hipster #2: This ain’t no jerry-rig, buddy.  It’s 1946 United States Marine Corps standard issue.  Vintage.


cf. “Vintage

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A group effort by Allen, Ben and Mike