February 18, 2015

Idle musings from the road

Allen @ 3:48 pm   |  Comments Off on Idle musings from the road
Filed under: Japan,Philosophy,Short Conversations

On the best invention of the last 20 years:
Allen: Maybe the iPhone? Wait, no, big data. What do you think it is?
Mike: Fracking.

On what your shop would sell if you were to open a tiny specialist retail shop in Daikanyama:
Allen: Antique astronomical instruments.
Mike: English literature books from the 20th century.

On the rise of China and Japanese nationalism:
Mike: it should be a very interesting 15 years coming up. And it’s all going to start over a random pile of rocks in the ocean.
Allen: A lot of shit starts over random piles of rocks.

On driverless cars:
Allen: I wonder if people will eventually stop getting driver’s licenses?
Mike: You don’t need a pilot license to get on a plane. Well, maybe if you’re the pilot.

On the last person to ride a horse down Fifth Avenue in New York:
Allen: I wonder who the last person to ride a horse down Fifth Avenue was?

On hypothetical ISIS battles royales:
Mike: Hamas vs ISIS.
Allen: Survivalist patriot militias vs ISIS.
Mike: ISIS vs Nazis.

February 9, 2015

Skepticism in Action

Allen @ 12:38 pm   |  Comments Off on Skepticism in Action
Filed under: Japan,Short Conversations,Travel

United Service Desk Woman: (on the phone) Narita flight’s delayed again? When? Until 1:45, ok. (Hangs up.)

Me: Delayed again?

United Service Desk Woman: Yes, departure is 1:45pm now.

Me: Ugh.

German Traveler Next To Me: (under his breath) I do not believe it. “Maintenance”, right. It is bullshit.

March 17, 2010

I’ll Take The Stairs, Thanks

Allen @ 12:40 pm   |  Comments Off on I’ll Take The Stairs, Thanks
Filed under: Short Conversations

While waiting for elevator #2 on the 12th floor of Hotel A.

[Clanging and ratchet sounds coming from the shut elevator #1 door.  Then silence.] 

Elevator Repair Man: [Muffled] What the fuck is this?


[Sudden, hard hammering against steel.]

September 3, 2008

Probably Should Have Vetted This One Better

Allen @ 3:39 pm   |  Comments (2)
Filed under: Short Conversations

Personally, I think he got off easy.

July 31, 2008

Townie Desperation Conversation

Mike @ 5:46 am   |  Comments (3)
Filed under: Short Conversations

On Yawkey Way, about 10:30 PM after last night’s drubbing by the Angels.

Townie: [Chasing Manny Ramirez’ car, a lowered Mercedes AMG with tinted windows] Manny! We love you! We’re sorry we boo’ed you! Please don’t go to Florida!

July 29, 2008

Overheard on the Acela Express from Boston to New York

Allen @ 7:13 am   |  Comments (3)
Filed under: boston sucks,Short Conversations,Travel

New York City, underneath a peculiar cloud formation.  July 26, 2008

Amtrak Conductor: [over loudspeaker] Attention Amtrak Passengers, next stop is Penn Station, New York City.  For those passengers from Boston, please look out the right side of the train.  That’s the Bronx… home of the 26-time World Series Champion New York Yankees.

Boston Passengers: Boo!

Amtrak Conductor: [5 minutes later] Now arriving in Penn Station, New York City.  New York City, next stop.   …  Home of the 2008 Superbowl champs, the New York Giants.

Boston Passengers: Boo!

Boston Man: [growling] Yeah, why doncha tell us about yah basketball team, yah punk.

June 2, 2008

Short Conversations with My Grandfather

Mike @ 4:58 am   |  Comments (1)
Filed under: Short Conversations

[I needed to call my grandmother yesterday, as it was her 90th birthday.]

Me: Hey Grandpa! It’s Mike Hodgson, your grandson!

Grandpa: Who?

Me: Mike Hodgson!

Grandpa: Mike Hudgens?

Me: No, Mike Hodgson.

Grandpa: Do I have a grandson named Mike Hodgson?

Me: Yeah! It’s me.

Grandpa: Who are you married to?

Me: No one!

Grandpa: So what’s on your mind?

May 29, 2008

Overheard at The Police Concert: Aging Rockers Edition

Allen @ 2:06 pm   |  Comments Off on Overheard at The Police Concert: Aging Rockers Edition
Filed under: Music,Short Conversations,Song of the Day

[Applause from the crowd.]

Sting: Thank you!  … I forgot what the next song is.

[Andy Summers starts playing a guitar riff.]

Sting: … What the fuck is the next song?

[Andy Summers looks at him and keeps playing the same riff, but doesn’t say a word.]

Sting: [listens for a few seconds] I don’t know what the fuck this is.

May 19, 2008

Overheard at My Office: Stuff White People Like to Say, Part 2

Allen @ 1:33 pm   |  Comments (1)
Filed under: Food,Short Conversations

[New York City, 12:30pm.  I am standing in the lobby of my office after coming back from getting lunch, Quiznos bag in hand, talking on my cell phone.]

Caucasian Business Dude: [comes out of the elevator, walks up to me]  Excuse me.  Hey.  Excuse me.

Me: [looks up at him inquisitively]  Yeah?

Caucasian Business Dude: Are you waiting for someone for that delivery?

Overheard at Duane Reade: Stuff White People Like to Say Edition

Allen @ 5:42 am   |  Comments (2)
Filed under: Short Conversations

[Saturday 8:45am, I walk up to the front to look for an iPod cable, since all the iPod accessories are behind the cashier counter.]

Woman in Jogging Outfit: [on her cellphone] …wait, hold on, I think someone’s cutting the line here… [to me] Hey, hey, excuse me, there’s a line here.  What are you doing? 

Me: Uh, I’m looking for an iPod cable.

Woman in Jogging Outfit: [embarassed] Oh, I thought you were cutting the line. 


Woman in Jogging Outfit: I have not had my coffee yet this morning, sorry.

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