May 1, 2008

More Townie Insults

Mike @ 6:48 am   |  Comments (5)
Filed under: boston sucks

Per last nights Townies/Hicks game:

When Joe Johnson was shooting two free throws in the third quarter, one Boston fan yelled, “Joe Johnson, you’ve got a boring name.”

Paul Pierce Killer Crip follow-up:

Celtics forward Paul Pierce broke his silence about the “menacing gesture” he made during Game 3 that led to a $25,000 fine.

“I don’t want to take the focus away from the playoffs. In sports, emotions run high. After playing for 10 years in Boston, I think Celtics fans know that I am a passionate player.

“I 100 percent do not in any way promote gang violence or anything close to it. I am sorry if it was misinterpreted that way at Saturday’s game.

“In fact, through my Truth foundation I am committed to giving back to youth groups and making sure young people have the opportunities to succeed in life. I am extremely proud of the work I have done through the foundation to provide positive influences and safe havens for inner-city kids.”

And finally, from Craigslist:

I miss you Boston!!!! (mid west hell)

Reply to:
Date: 2008-05-01, 1:52AM EDT

Exiled here in the mid-west made me realize how much I miss my home. I miss the food, the people, the history, the nightmare traffic jams, even the pleasure of the big dig fiasco. Everyone here is so polite it’s sickening, in the morning everyone wants to say hello & good morning and all I want is my frigin cup of coffee!!! No one knows how to drive & they think I’m the one with the issues! I would sell my soul for a real pizza or a roast beef sandwich from any greek joint on the north shore. Thank you Boston & all you unfriendly, arrogant, rude yet totally unique individuals who make up one of the greatest metro areas anywhere in the world!!!!!!… Please do me a favor & be sure to cut someone off today complete with the one finger salute!!!! I tried it here but people think I’m waving to them….fucking morons!!!!

April 30, 2008

Word from Townie-Town, muthafuckahs.

Mike @ 9:05 am   |  Comments (1)
Filed under: boston sucks

Paul Pierce flashes a gang sign at Atlanta’s bench.

April 28, 2008

Another Dreary Day in Townie Town


April 25, 2008

Perfection Is

Allen @ 8:58 am   |  Comments (1)
Filed under: boston sucks,Food,GIKKU Approved,The Great Outdoors


April 22, 2008

Overheard in a Boston Coffeehouse, 10AM

Allen @ 12:14 pm   |  Comments Off on Overheard in a Boston Coffeehouse, 10AM
Filed under: boston sucks,Short Conversations

Man #1: Have you ever heard of the term… [whispers] ‘butt pirate’?

Man #2: [loudly] Huh?  Butt wha’?  PIRATE?

Man #1: [whispers] Yeah.  Butt pirate.

Man #2:  Whaddaya mean, like Blackbeyahd ah somethin’?

Man #1: Yeah, like that.

Man #2: Nevah heahd of it.

Man #1: [excitedly] That’s what we are!

Overheard at Fenway Park

Mike @ 7:50 am   |  Comments (5)
Filed under: boston sucks,Short Conversations


Chowder Girl: Getcha chowda! Chowda heah! Getcha chowda!

Man with blocked view [in low growl]: Get that soup outta heah.

March 31, 2008

Overheard at a Red Sox-Dodgers Game

Allen @ 7:46 am   |  Comments Off on Overheard at a Red Sox-Dodgers Game
Filed under: boston sucks,Short Conversations

I went to the Red Sox vs. Dodgers exhibition game this weekend at the Coliseum.  It was the largest baseball game in history, with 115,300 attendees.  This was my view from the very last row at the top edge of the stadium:


At the top of the 7th, it was 7-1 Red Sox, and a man wearing a Sox cap and t-shirt pulled down one of the many Dodger flags flying on flag poles around the top edge of the Coliseum.  This started something of a mini-riot, as everyone else wanted one too.  Pretty soon, nearly all the flags were gone, and the police were running up the stairs.

Crowd: (pointing at the Red Sox cap guy) He did it!  He did it!

Tattooed Guy Sitting Next to Me: Man, everyone’s a snitch.

Policeman #1: (to the Red Sox cap guy) OK, let’s go.

Red Sox cap guy: What?  What I do?

Policeman #2: (reaching into Red Sox cap guy’s back pocket, pulls out the Dodger flag) Really, you’re gonna lie to us?  Get up, let’s go.

[Red Sox cap guy gets up and gets escorted out.  The crowd cheers, then quiets down.]

Dodgers Fan with Goatee: (to the Red Sox cap guy, as he is led away) Yeah!  Boston sucks!  Hahaha!

Red Sox cap guy: Yankees suck!  Yankees suck! 

March 25, 2008

Stuff White People Like: Mike’s Version

Mike @ 6:58 pm   |  Comments (4)
Filed under: boston sucks,GIKKU Approved

Utah Jazz Basketball Team
Scented Candles

February 22, 2008

Gaming the System

Mike @ 2:36 pm   |  Comments (1)
Filed under: boston sucks,Morality/Ethics

Last night at the democratic debates, the phrase “gaming the system” was used over and over again. Allen and I remarked on this while text messaging incessantly to each other. We wondered: can we “game the system” too, just like big pharma and oil companies and people who are trying to avoid joining Hillary’s healthcare plan?


While we consider that, observe the snowstorm from my office window here in TOWNIE TOWN.

February 9, 2008


Ben @ 9:00 am   |  Comments (3)
Filed under: boston sucks

Bone becomes boner

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A group effort by Allen, Ben and Mike