[Applause from the crowd.]

Sting: Thank you!  … I forgot what the next song is.

[Andy Summers starts playing a guitar riff.]

Sting: … What the fuck is the next song?

[Andy Summers looks at him and keeps playing the same riff, but doesn’t say a word.]

Sting: [listens for a few seconds] I don’t know what the fuck this is.

[I received this instant message from my manager today.  Our corporate divison has had problems making its income forecasts lately.]

4:31:48 PM: xxxxxx@xxx.com: Allen,  was wondering since I have other people working on your client – have they capped you at 40 hrs/week?

4:38:05 PM: xxxxxx@xxx.com: I am going to send you a note – everyone needs to be billing all of the hours that they work.  is there work for you so that you can bill 44 hrs/ weeek? thx

4:39:45 PM: Me: i will try   but i don’t really have work that requires going overtime.

4:40:37 PM: xxxxxx@xxx.com: we really need you to start working and billing 44 hrs / week.  we don’t wan tyou to bill anything you don’t work but everyone in our division is being asked to bill OT if appropriate. thx

Do you?

In honor of visiting Provincetown, I ate a footlong. After much deliberation, I chose John’s Hotdog stand although I was later informed that Mojo’s in Wellfleet was the dogstand of choice. Allen, the next time you visit we will take you there, although you will be required to wear a purple feather boa.

[New York City, 12:30pm.  I am standing in the lobby of my office after coming back from getting lunch, Quiznos bag in hand, talking on my cell phone.]

Caucasian Business Dude: [comes out of the elevator, walks up to me]  Excuse me.  Hey.  Excuse me.

Me: [looks up at him inquisitively]  Yeah?

Caucasian Business Dude: Are you waiting for someone for that delivery?

[Saturday 8:45am, I walk up to the front to look for an iPod cable, since all the iPod accessories are behind the cashier counter.]

Woman in Jogging Outfit: [on her cellphone] …wait, hold on, I think someone’s cutting the line here… [to me] Hey, hey, excuse me, there’s a line here.  What are you doing? 

Me: Uh, I’m looking for an iPod cable.

Woman in Jogging Outfit: [embarassed] Oh, I thought you were cutting the line. 

Me: …

Woman in Jogging Outfit: I have not had my coffee yet this morning, sorry.

Lady: [to friend] Are you going chanting tonight?

Friend: I don’t know.

Lady: If you want, we can just do it by ourselves.

Bald, Creepy Dude: [to mature-looking girl] Are you in school?

Mature-Looking Girl: I’m a senior.

Bald, Creepy Dude: [sliding closer to mature-looking girl] Oh that’s great, what’s your major?

Mature-Looking Girl: Uh, I don’t have a major.  I mean, not yet.  Maybe in a couple years I’ll have one.

Bald, Creepy Man: [stops sliding closer] You’re in high school?

Mature-Looking Girl: Yeah, I’m a senior.  In high school.

Bald, Creepy Man: … you’re, like, seventeen?

Mature-Looking Girl: Yeah.

Bald, Creepy Man: [rubs his soul patch] Hm… seventeen.